Unusual Feelings
by CrazyLake42
Summary: Helga is the social reject, Gerald is the popular guy... Can he help Helga before it's too late, or are Helga's walls just to strong?
1. Default Chapter

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: I like unusual pairings! I'm weird like that alright! Plus I'm kinda sick of H/A pairings all the time... It gets boring... So if you feel the need to flame on my pairing... go right ahead... it will be ignored... now if you flame on my lack of writing skills than that's another story! Well on to the story! (Experiment first chapter) Will continue depending on response!  
  
Black turned into a dim gray as the sun was rising. The sky reflecting the same moods as one lone girl. One girl who never had anything in her life. Who was always outcasted, looked over by her parents. Never knowing what love was, never learning how to love herself. Of course she always thought she loved a boy with a weird shaped head.   
  
Just recently she found out it was never love. It was an obession that started because he showed the slightest care in the world for her. He complimented her on her pink bow, because it matched her pants. Yeah the two went out for sometime, but she soon realized, she never really loved him. She couldn't love, she didn't know how.  
  
This one lone girl never could let down her walls, never trust anyone fulling. Scared of being hurt, scared of being betrayed, what could she do? Live an unhappy life for ever, never knowing the warmth that love can bring. Never knowing the joy of being loved and returning it. She evenually pushed the one person she thought she loved away. He never tried to stop her, never said he loved her. Hell, he dated another girl behind her back. Boy did that bring this girl down, made her so mad, she started to hurt herself. Sure she knew she never loved him, but the pain she felt, the betrayal.  
  
'How could he do that to me?' always played in her head at night. 'How can the one person who actually cared about me do that?' was the thought that always bought tears to her eyes. She stayed up late every night, crying her eyes out. She would sit next to the window watching the day turn to night, or night turn today. The wonderful sky blue turn into pink, orange and yellow, which soon turned black. Black like her heart. The cold air was so numbing, just like her soul which was numbing everyday.  
  
No one noticed this girl, no one really cared. Why would they care about someone who bullied them for most of their lives? Why would anyone care for Helga G. Pataki? Even her best friend left her, left her to be with her one crush, whom she thought she loved, Arnold. Helga has become numb to the world, numb to any emotions. Scared to trust again, scared to have people come near her.  
  
Why do I care that she is alone? Why do I care that she might kill herself soon? That's what scares me the most, I do care. I don't know when these weird feelings for Helga came about, but I know I can't lose her. I'm her only friend now, not that she knows I consider her a friend. I'm just another face in the crowd, just another passerby. Just someone who she thinks hates her, and I feel guilty that I can't tell her the truth.  
  
"I promise you Helga, I will save you," I whisper walking out of the shadow in front of her window and heading back to my home.  
  
A/N: Ohhhh!!!! That was like one of the deepest things I've ever wrote... well besides my poems... Read and review...  
  
Review thanks for my other story 'Everything Is Gone'  
  
just me...: You requested a longer story on how Helga and Gerald got together... well here it is! Hope you like it... thanks for the review!  
  
Brat Child2: Well I've started a whole new story on how the got together... I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the review!  
  
FROZENsun: I read your poem, but I was to lazy to review... I'll review when I'm not so lazy... Thanks for the review!  
  
Gwynn: I really don't know where this came from... My mind works in strange ways! Well thanks for the review!  
  
Pointy Objects: Thanks for saying my poem doesn't suck... Yeah... thanks for the review!   
  
laura buzali: Nope, haven't been suicidal for awhile acutally. If my poems seem all depressing and junk, it's because I write them when I am depressed... Like I always say, "Poems/Songs don't leave scars." So yeah thanks for the review!  
  
A/N2: Well yeah! I'm looking forward to some reviews or flames... whatever floats your goat... Gotta love Will and Grace! Well talk to me on AIM: FucEmotions or Yahoo: Lakiepoo89 or or give me your MSN name and I'll add you to my list! And if you read my story In The Woods... well that won't be updated for a long time... writers block... that's basically why I'm writing this and I wrote Everything Is Gone... Well bye now! 


	2. This is My Life

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: Hi! Here is an update... hope you enjoy!   
  
Sighing deeply I stare out into the dark black sky. The full moon is shining brightly, and the stars are twinkling. An airplane flying overhead, ruining the perfect sky. Then again, what is perfect excatly? He was once perfect, he was the best guy in this world. That's done and over with thought, and now we don't even talk.  
  
The nights we spent together were the best, I was so happy. Atleast, I thought I was happy. What is happiness? What does it feel like to be anything but depressed or angry? I'll never find out real emotions, besides those two.  
  
I slowly raise from my sitting postion by my window and walk toward my bed. Sighing deeply I get into the warm comforter of my bed. The one place that I feel safe and warm. Falling to sleep is always hard now, so it takes awhile before I fall into an uneasy sleep. The next morning is hectic like always. I'm up late, because my 'mom forgot' to wake me. That's not unusual around here, she and my 'dad' are always forgetting me. Everything is about my stupid, smart, snobby, hot sister. There are so many words to describe her, and most of them are good. Everyone loves Olga and I don't exsist around her. Most words that discribe me are boring and plain. I have yet to gain curves and I am the ugliest person. My friend Faith disagrees though.  
  
Faith moved in a few months ago and we became instant friends. Her being what most people call goth and me being goth and basically a outcast. We bonded instantly. Phoebe, my best friend in middle school, ditched me and started to date my ex, who was my boyfriend at the time. So I was alone and she was alone, guess that is what bought us together. Although I like to think it was fate that did. I mean Hillwood doesn't usually get new people like Faith.  
  
"Olga?" My father calls pulling me out of my depressing thoughts.  
  
"It's Helga dad," I reply in an annoyed voice.  
  
"You are going to be late and don't take that tone with me."  
  
"Right bye," I say walking out of the house.  
  
Sitting on the sidewalk in front of me is Faith. Her rollerblades on her feet already as I sit down to put mine on.  
  
"What's up?" she asked, concerned.  
  
"You know the same old crap," I respond smiling slightly pulling my other skate on.  
  
"Oh my god!" she says in her highest voice, "Like you just smiled! Did is hurt?"  
  
"Shut up fucking bitch," I say but mumble the last part.  
  
"What was that?" she ask.  
  
"Nothing, nothing."  
  
"Righty-o yo!"  
  
"Let's go," I tell her getting to my feet.  
  
We start to blade to school, slowly, in a comfortable silence. The area hasn't changed much since I was a kid. The older buildings have been knocked down and replaced with newer ones. The vacant lot, also known as Gerald Field, is still here. Although I don't go there much, well I don't ever go there anymore.  
  
See I am not an outcast, someone everyone loves to hate. Someone no one gives a second glance to, unless they want to glare. I guess being a bully in elementary and middle gave me a bad reputation. Although I don't see why I am the one who is to blame. I mean they were the ones that made me the way that I am. Then again I can choose how I act, most of the time. There is always that fear of letting someone in and getting hurt again.  
  
"Helga?!" Faith yells pulling me from my depressing thoughts.  
  
"Huh?" I ask, dazed.  
  
"You spaced out and got the look again," she responds concern.  
  
"It's all roast chicken dude," I reply.  
  
"Righty o."  
  
The rest of the skate was spend in a silence, not as comfortable as before. I could tell she was concerned and I felt bad because I didn't tell her what was really wrong. Slowly sitting down on the stairs, I take off my blades. Looking up I see him, the one guy I thought I had loved, with my ex best friend, Phoebe. She ditched me long ago to be with him, thing is they were dating behind my back. Both betrayed me in a way that could never be forgiven.  
  
That is when I turned what most people would call goth. I guess that is there own opinion right? I look back down at my vans, which are a few inches away from me and grab them. Sighing as I slip them on my feet, I feel eyes on me. Lifting my head up my blue eyes met the golden brown eyes of an old childhood friend.  
  
"Hey Helga," his deep voice says.  
  
"Gerald," I reply in my emotionless voice.  
  
I have stopped teasing people and using childish nicknames. He looks me over once and for some odd reason I blush. Cursing at my reaction I get up and say a quick bye to him and rush off.  
  
'What the fuck was up with that?' I ask myself as I make my way to my homeroom class.   
  
"Helga!" Faith calls from behind me.  
  
"Sorry," I reply as she walks up next to me.  
  
"No prob. Gerald is shocked on your sudden departure though."  
  
"Why is he suddently talking to me now?"  
  
"I don't know. I better get going I have to meet up with the others."  
  
"Alrighty bye!" I call to her retreating back.  
  
A/N: Well there is the second chapter... Sorry it is short but I don't know if people are actually reading it... Review for me! I'll love you forever!  
  
Review Thanks:  
  
Witchytara24: Hehe...I don't know? I feel loved that you reviewed it! Well I must go... being attacked by Yahoo IMs... ::sigh:: Thanks again you get a duck!  
  
A/N2: Well review... and if you must talk to me Yahoo: Lakiepoo89 AIM: FucEmotions and msn: Lake89115 


	3. Who Are You?

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: I don't know why but this chapter was hard to write and I still don't like it... It's not as dark(?) as the others... Well I wrote most of it in my biology class because we had a free period... 2 out of the 5 kids in my class were absent... so yeah... On to the story! Oh... the POV's will be switching between Helga and Gerald... So this chapter is Gerald's POV... I'll tell you which is which at the beginning...  
  
Silently I watch her rush away from me, into the endless crowd of people. Her only friend Faith stands there looking at me. I stare at her and give a slight nod before heading to my homeroom class.  
  
As I'm walking through the brightly lit hallways I feel eyes burning a hole in my back. Turning my head I see Phoebe and Arnold behind me, staring. Staring like I'm an alien from Mars, like I have grown an extra head. Was it because I talked to Helga, when no one else did? Was it because I created my own path instead of following the one that was laid out? Sighing deeply I stop at my locker.  
  
Turning the combination lock, I feel two people walk up to me. Posters of various rock bands are revealed when I open my locker.  
  
"Why were you talking to her?" the girl demanded.  
  
"Because," I reply as coolly as I can to the short asian girl.  
  
"Trust me G, she is bad news," the foot ball headed boy said before walking away.  
  
"Fuck you," I whisper under my breath and grab my books.  
  
I sit in my usual sit in homeroom and once again I feel like someone is staring at me. Slowly turning, my eyes meet Faith. I could see the confusion in her eyes and the fear of what my motives were. I could almost tell what she was thinking. Wondering what I was planning, wondering if it will cause another problem in Helga's troubled life. Probably thinking about what my intentions are. Are they good, or bad? If only she knew; if only I knew.  
  
Two years ago, if someone were to tell me I would be feeling like this, I would have laughed in their face. Asked them if they were crazy. I guess it shows just how much people change from their childhood. Some change for the better, some for the worst.  
  
Take Arnold for example, he used to be a nice kid and a little dense. Now he is football star with a huge ego. No one really likes him, just hangs out with him to be popular. I still hang at with him, that can't change. We aren't the best friends anymore though, we drifted.  
  
Now take Helga, once school bully. Now quiet withdrawn goth. She writes peotry, which amazed me. Then again what doesn't amaze me when it comes to her? I mean there are so many things about her I never knew. Who would have thought the hardest, coldest girl would write such cool poems, deep poems. There are so many things about her I want to learn, things that could have helped us as kids.  
  
"Gerald?" a voice asks pulling me from my thoughts.  
  
"Yes?" I respond shaking the thoughts from my head.  
  
"The bell rang."  
  
"Thanks Faith," I tell her.  
  
"Look can you meet me by the stairs at lunch today?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Thanks, I must take my leave now. Bye!" she said walking out of the room.  
  
Gathering my bag and looking up I notice I only have three minutes to get to my class. Rushing out of the room and back into the crowded hall way. I walk quickly to my class and make it there right before the bell rings.  
  
"Alright class today," my teacher says as I block him out.  
  
Afther what seemed like forever the second period bell rings. Grabbing my backpack I hurry off to my poetry class. As I enter I see her, sitting there, with her blank expression. Her once blonde hair dyed black with red streaks hanging loosely. Her two eye brows and dull dark eyes. Before I know it our eyes are locked on each others. She must have just noticed to because she looks down. A small blush creeping on her face.  
  
Smiling slightly I walk over to her desk and sit in the empty one beside her. She looks over questioning in her eyes. I smile inwardly at the emotion.  
  
"Hey," I say.  
  
"Hi," she replys in her small shy emotionless voice.  
  
"Gerald!" one of my jerky friends call. "What are you doing talking to the freak?"  
  
"Sorry Helga," I mumble ignoring him.  
  
"Yeah whatever," she says sounding angry.  
  
"Yeah I'm gonna go. Bye." I say walking over to my other friends.   
  
Looking back slightly I see her head in her hands. Her hair falling softly on the desk. Turning back to my friends, I ask them what was up. The rest of the class went by fast, along with third and fourth period. Before I know it I'm face to face with Faith.   
  
"Why are you talking to Helga now?" she asked concerned.  
  
"I don't know," I reply.  
  
"Look, I don't know what you are playing at, but if you hurt her in anyway. I swear I will kill you, slowly and painfully," she said in a deadly calm voice that sends shivers down my spine.  
  
"I won't, I guess I feel bad for ditching her. People change right and I left her because she changed."  
  
"Remember what I said," she told me walking off.  
  
Standing from my sitting position I go to find my other friends. If that is what you call them.  
  
A/N: Ok I did not like that chapter at all... I might re-do it... it depends... what do you guys think? Well on to the review thanks...  
  
Professor Rose Thorn: Your review made me really really happy... Which was really good because I was feeling down... Well thanks for the review... I shall give you a chicken!  
  
lilsteves: Alrighty! Thanks for the review, you shall get a monkey!  
  
Brat Child2: Heh, I shall continue! Thanks for the review you shall get a reindeer!  
  
Gwynn: Heh... I will continue the story! Well thanks for the review! You get a bunny!!!  
  
A/N2: Yo! Alright I got reviews! I feel special now! Well review it and I shall love you forever and a day! I must take my leave and work on my other story... Oh and before I go... does this not have enough conversations? I mean I wanted to give it a darker feel that why I use mostly detail... So tell me what you think... Please! 


	4. Pain

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: I am back with an update! Was I missed? Happy V-day everyone... even if it isn't... ::sigh:: Well I'm gonna write the story now! Helga's POV in this chapter!  
  
  
  
Coldness hits my head as I sit it down on the lunch table. Waiting for Faith to return from asking someone something. Sighing deeply I raise my head as I hear footsteps coming near me, hoping it was her. Looking up I see them, my ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend, standing there glaring at me. Making it seem like everything is my fault.  
  
"What?" I ask showing no emotions.  
  
"Back off," I hear the blonde say.  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about?" My voice still holding nothing.  
  
"Stay away from Gerald, I don't know what you did. Probably cast a spell on him," the black haired girl said coldly.  
  
"Just fuck off," I say trying not to show my emotions, show my anger.  
  
"Fuck you," they say walking off hand in hand.  
  
Sighing again I get up from the table and walk down to the bathroom. Locking myself in one of the stalls I pull out my razor hidden in a black cloth in the bottom of my bag. Holding the cold metal in my hand I give it a little twirl. The metal slightly glinting in the light, so pretty. A beautiful silver color, which will soon be stained red.  
  
I know I shouldn't do this, but what else am I suppose to do. Sighing deeply, I wrap the razor back up in the cloth and stick it back in my bag. This time pulling out my notebook I write:  
  
Why is it always so cold  
  
Why is it always so dark  
  
Why does this life pass me by   
  
Never looking back  
  
Never offering a hand  
  
Never helping out  
  
Just pushing me down  
  
Making me fall  
  
Kicking me hard  
  
Laughing as it runs  
  
Not caring that I'm here  
  
Just leaving, hurting  
  
Why is it that I care?  
  
Why do I want to live?  
  
Why can't I feel?  
  
Slowly getting to my feet, I walk out of the bathroom and right into the one guy that started all this. My notebook drops to the floor and he bends down to get it. Blushing as he hands it to me I give a quick thanks and hurry off to find Faith.  
  
"Helga wait!" I hear him call, but I don't turn around I keep walking.  
  
Finally when I'm in a safe distance from him I look around. I'm in an empty classroom, one that hasn't been used in ages. Dust was settling quite comfortably on the desks and chairs. Suddently a memory comes back to me. Arnold and I came into this classroom, when I confessed my love to him. When he admited to liking me too, in this classroom.   
  
Sinking down to the floor, I stare into space. Trying to get the haunting memories out of my head. Hoping they would just disappear, leave me in peace. Tears well up in my eyes, threatening to spill again. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry over him again, told myself he wasn't worth it. Taking deep breaths I regain control over my emotions and put my blank face on.   
  
Walking out into the hall, I'm surprised to find it empty. It's deserted, the lockers remain shut and the lights still bright. No sounds are heard and no clunking of heavy boots. Slowly, I walk down the hall and into my next class.   
  
"Where have you been?" My teacher askd as I entered the room. Everyone staring at me, glaring at me.  
  
"I had to take my medication," I whisper to him, lying.  
  
"Oh," came the knowing reply.  
  
He was the only teacher that knew about my depression. I don't know how he found out, or why he even cares. I quickly walk to the back of the room, and into my desk. Lying my head down, I half listen to what he says and half ponder things. Before I know it the bell rings dismissing us to our sixth period classes.  
  
As I head to the door, I hear a voice calling me. Slowly turning I meet face to face with my teacher. Concern was showing in his eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asks me.  
  
"Nothing much, just same old stuff," I reply as nonchalantly as I can.  
  
"I'm going to have to tell someone soon, Helga. I can't watch you suffer."  
  
"Don't worry I'm fine," I say.  
  
"Fine go on to class," he said, not believing a word I said.  
  
"Yes sir," was the last thing I said before heading to my class.  
  
Upon entering I notice four pairs of eyes on me.  
  
"Great," I mumble as I walk to my desk.  
  
Arnold and Phoebe sitting there, staring. Probably plotting again, last time their little 'plot' didn't work. I used the same one in fourth grade against Lila. Sighing for the third time that day I lie my head down on the desk. Feeling more eyes on me I look up and lock eyes with Gerald.  
  
A/N: I would have wrote more but I'm tired... sorry! Review thanks time!  
  
Review thanks:  
  
Professor Rose Thorn: Heh, Gerald will evenually come to his senses... and Helga well you'll see how she reacts... ::evil grin:: Well thanks for the review... You get a valentine cookie!  
  
A/N2: Yo yo yo! Review it! Is it me or is this getting kinda corny? Well yeah must leave bye! 


	5. My Dark Angel

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: I'm back! Heh, I don't know what to say right now except uhh... Orange soda? hehe... Gerald's POV...  
  
Locking eyes with her is always new. Sometimes they don't hold anything in them, others you can barely see the emotions. The wall that she built up, and it's always hard to look away from them. The deep blue, dulled by pain, that looks like it turns gray toward the pupil in certain lights. They are so memorizing, that you get lost in them. Even though you are lost, you don't want to be found. You just want to drown in the color, drown in the hidden emotions.  
  
She looks away, frowning. Sighing for what seemed like the hundredth time that day I look away also. Trying to find a way to talk to her. Tell her what I'm thinking, try to be friends. The dismissing bell rings, causing me to jump. Slowly getting up I grab my bag and head out to the bus.  
  
Staring out the window, I see Helga and Faith putting on their skates. They seemed to be in a deep conversation. The bus starts to move, and I keep staring. Staring until she turns smaller and out of sight. Turning around in my seat, I grab my cd player and turn it on.  
  
Smile Empty Soul's "Nowhere Kids" blast through the speakers and I'm pretty sure everyone could hear it. Staring out the window, I see the building pass by. If only I could live in a country side, where there are grass and actual trees. Not some that were planted because of complaints, but some that grew there naturally. How I wished I could scoop Helga up and take her away from this hell, away from everything that can cause her pain.  
  
'Damn it,' I think to myself as these thoughts fill my head. 'I'm not suppose to like her. So why do I?'  
  
The bus stops at my house and I get off. Arnold and Phoebe staring after me, well more like glaring. Stepping on the the gray concrete, I head toward my house. The clouds turning gray, winter was appoaching. Suddently I feel a drop of rain, then another and another. The drops causing the concrete to turn a darker gray. Looking up I see the gray clouds forming and knowing this storm was going to end anytime soon. Worst part is I'm still a few blocks from my house and the rain comes down harder. Sighing I continue my way home.  
  
Shivering as I enter I run upstairs to change. Dressed in my black cotton sweat pants and white wife-beater I sit in front of the T.V. and turn to Fuse. Then I see something outside my window, running. Slowly I get up to get a closer look, and see it's Helga running in the rain. Looking happy for once, but at the same time depressed. Grabbing my umbrella I head outside.  
  
"Helga?" I call out and surprise to see she actually turned.  
  
There standing in front of me is an angel; a dark angel. Her wet black hair falling down to her middle back. The black shirt sticking to her body, in a hot way. Her black baggy pants hanging loosely on her waist, soaked. Shaking my head, I get the images out.  
  
"Yeah?" she replied confused.  
  
"It's Gerald," I manage to say.  
  
"Oh hi," she said.  
  
"Why are you running in the rain?" I ask.  
  
"Haven't you ever went running in the rain?" she replied.  
  
"No, I can't say I have."  
  
"Well it makes me feel like I'm free. Plus no one can see me."  
  
"I saw you."  
  
"You don't count, you, well, I don't know."  
  
"That makes no sense."  
  
"Shut up," she said turning.  
  
"Why do you keep running from people?" I ask before I know it.  
  
"Why do you care?" she says stopping.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Well, then just don't worry about it." she tells me in a cold voice.  
  
"I-I'm sorry."  
  
"Just forget it. Go back to your friends and leave me alone."  
  
"Look, I know I haven't been really nice to you but..."  
  
"I know, I know, you have to keep your image up. You can't be talking to a loner now can you? Look why don't you just leave me alone and let me get back to my life?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but you have to admit that I haven't been mean to you. I haven't said anything bad about you."  
  
"That's a fucking lie!" she yells at me. "I hear what you people say. I hear the hateful words that are whispered. I know how everyone wishes I were to get hit by a car. So don't tell me you haven't said anything about me. Now just fuck off and leave me the hell alone." She yells running off into the darkness.  
  
"I don't hate you," I whisper to myself. "I didn't stick up for you, but I sure didn't say anything bad about you."  
  
Turning I head back into my house and back upstairs to change. Changing my pants and shirt for the second time, I decide to do my homework and get to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day, a really busy day.  
  
A/N: Yo yo yo! What is up? How did you like the chapter... The rain was added because it is currently raining. I like the rain... ::sigh:: well on to the review thanks!  
  
Review Thanks:  
  
Gwynn: Hehe, I have been bitten by the writing cow! Hopefully I keep updating... Well thanks for the review and listing me! You get a piece of pie!  
  
Dark Angel Monkey: Wow, I feel special... Really your first H/G pairing? To be honest, I didn't even know I was gonna make this one a H/G pairing... Well I knew it after I wrote the other fic... Anyways I just confused myself... thanks for the review you get some cake!  
  
Brat Child2: I agree they should... maybe I'll make them fall in a ditch... hehe Well yeah thanks for the review you get some cheesecake!  
  
stevetheloser: Thanks for pointing that out... I probably should correct it... but I'm a lazy person... I'll get to it eventually lol... Well thanks for the review! You shall receive a donut?  
  
Professor Rose Thorn: I love your story... It rocks! And because it rocks so much I shall dedicate this chapter to you! Hehe, well thanks for the review! You get a pack of Hershey's chocolate...  
  
A/N2: Alright, review for me? I love you people! hehe Well I must leave and do my homework which I should have done, but decided to write... See how much I love you guys... I'm willing to skip homework to write... who wouldn't though ::cough cough:: Hehe, well bye people!!!! 


	6. My Only Other Friend

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Warning!: This chapter contains some cutting... if you are a cutter and it makes you want to cut please do not read this chapter... I repeat this chapter contains some cutting! Do not read if cutting... well yeah... don't read if you don't like cutting!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: I have returned... Hope you enjoy the chapter! Helga's POV  
  
  
  
Rain drops hit me as I run from him. I don't know why, but when I'm around him I feel weird. I know I can't trust him, but why is it that I want to? Slowly I let my run fall to a jog, thoughts still running madly in my mind. Feeling slightly dizzy I sat on a bench. After awhile I realize that I am in the park.  
  
Trees surrounding me, making me feel like I'm hidden. The rain has slowed down alittle and the wind starts to blow. Shivering I get up from my spot and head back to my house. Walking down the sidewalk I see them. It always seems as if they are waiting for me to pass by, or even look in their direction.   
  
Maybe it's their payback, their way to hurt me. Sighing deeply I look away and walk alittle bit faster to my house. As I open my door, I get the biggest surprise ever. There in front of me is Olga, my perfect sister. My mother and father smiling widely at her, joy shining in their eyes.  
  
"Baby sister!" Olga says in her high pitch voice. "You're all wet, now go change into some dry clothes. We don't want you getting sick now do we?"  
  
"Whatever," I mumble walking up to my room and locking the door.  
  
Laughing lightly to myself, I look around my room. So different from when I was nine. The walls no longer pink, but now black. My bed sheets red, and dresser a mid-night blue color. Inside my closet the Arnold shrine gone and replaced with a small altar. My little pink books stored in a corner, I couldn't bare loosing my poetry books, even if they are about him. Scattered around my altar is my little black books, full of depressing poetry. Sighing again I grab some of my pajama's and change.  
  
Dry and ready to face the rest of my family I walk downstairs. Sitting around the T.V. is where I find them. Watching home movies of Olga, grinning at everything she does. Silently I sit down on the floor and watch too. My parents recalling memories of Olga's first steps, her first words, her first day at school. Everything is about her, never about me. They probably wouldn't care if I wasn't here. Feeling the tightening in my chest I get up and walk up to my room.  
  
Putting on my KoRn cd, I sit in the darkest corner of my room. Staring off into space, not caring about anyone. I get to my feet and grab my bag. I dig through it looking for my only other friend, the one that helps me forget about my mental pain. Grinning widely as I find it.   
  
I give it a little flip in my hand, and notice there isn't a nice shine in the dark. I roll up the legs of my pants and put the razor to my leg. Pushing down I make a little cut, not to deep. As I feel the pain shoot up my leg I feel angry and I push down harder, making it deeper. Crimson blood flows out, looking like a small river. I pick the razor up again and slash another deep one right above the last one. Laughing lightly at the blood spilling out of my leg I drag the razor across my other leg. This time spelling out the word, 'Die' what I want to do right now.  
  
I stop a minute later, regretting what I just did. I clean my razor off and wrap it in the cloth. Getting up I sit on my bed, slowly the tears come. What I desperating wanted to stop with my cutting. Small sobs wreck through my body as I curl up on my bed. Just then the phone rings. I pick it up and hear a familar voice on the other end.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Faith?"  
  
"Dude, you alright? Your voice sounds tired."  
  
"I'm cool, how are you doing?"  
  
"Good," she said as I felt a cough coming on.  
  
"Man, I think I'm getting sick."  
  
"You went running in the rain again didn't you?"  
  
"Of course, so how did things go with Stinky?"  
  
"He just wants to be friends at the moment."  
  
"That blows, well yo I think I'm gonna go to bed. Sorry."  
  
"It's roast chicken, see ya tomorrow!" She said.  
  
"Bye," I reply as the phone line went dead.  
  
Hanging up the phone, I lay back down and stare out into the night sky. It's still raining slightly and the moon and stars are covered up by the dark clouds. Suddently a light flashes through the sky followed by a boom. Sighing loudly, I dig deeper into my blanket. Slowly I fall into a fitful sleep.  
  
A/N: I have returned! ::insert evil laugh:: So how did you like the chapter? Review thanks time!  
  
Review Thanks:  
  
Professor Rose Thorn: Hehe, I've always wanted to talk to a guy in the rain... Well actually I've done that already... You ever run in the rain? It's so much fun! Expect I ran in a puddle, without knowing in and my socks got all wet... Then there was this one time at school when I stepped in a puddle without knowing it and had to walk with wet socks all day... that was fun... ::rambles on and on and on:: Well thanks for the review you get a moose!  
  
stevetheloser: Sure I thank you! You owe me like 3 dollars for those donuts! hehe, well since you gave me a peanut butter cup thingie I will dedicate this chapter to you! Well yeah thanks for the review you get cow with pretty dots!  
  
A/N: Yo yo yo! Review for Lakie! Please please please! Hehe, well yeah I must go and clean my room... Hehe Smile Empty Soul here I come! ::grins widely:: Well yeah peace! 


	7. Her Story, Through My Eyes

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: I have returned... Hope you like this chapter... Gerald's POV  
  
The sun beats down on me through my open blinds; so different from yesterday. Sitting up from my laying postion I look around. My room hasn't changed much from my youth. A few new rock posters are hanging, and my walls are painted a mid night blue. Slowly I get out of my bed and get my clothes for today; baggy blue jeans and a baggy red shirt.  
  
A few minutes later I rush out of my house to catch the bus. I get to the stop just in time, as the bus pulls up. Walking toward the back where all my 'friends' are, I take a sit. Taking out my cd player I turn it on, and KoRn's "Freak on A Leash" blasts through the speakers. Looking up at the next stop my eyes met Helga's.  
  
'What is going on?' I think to myself. 'She never rides the bus.'  
  
I couldn't help but stare questionly at her. Her eyes held dark circles under them and they dulled alittle more. Her skin a ghostly white almost translucent. Her black hair tyed up in a messy pony tail with a black rubberband, the pink bow thrown away long ago. I feel eyes on me and I look over to where I feel them; Arnold and Pheobe are staring at me. Why is it always them?  
  
"What?" I ask.  
  
Arnold says something, but I couldn't hear him. Taking off my headphones I ask him to repeat himself.  
  
Sighing deeply he replies "I said you are freaking us out."  
  
"How so?" I say.  
  
"You keep staring at her, Gerald don't forget this is the bully."  
  
"You mean was the bully. Look at her man, she's lost."  
  
"I can't believe you are talking like this, remember she is the one that pushed us all away."  
  
"What the hell are you smoking? You guys are the one who betrayed her and made her push everyone out, period," I say as my anger starts to boil.  
  
"Whatever man," he retorts turning in his seat as Phoebe puts her head on his shoulder.  
  
'Man I can't believe I ever liked her.' I think to myself frowning in disgust at the two.  
  
Turning back around, with headphones on, I see her staring at me. I can't help but wonder if she heard what I said to Arnold. Shaking my head slightly to get rid of the thoughts I stare out the window. Two minutes later we arrive at school.  
  
I see a slight limp as Helga walks to meet up with Faith. Turning away I walk toward my homeroom class. I really didn't want to put up with the people I hang out with. Most of all I didn't want another confrontation with Arnold and Phoebe, who seem to be keeping a close eye on me.  
  
My head drifts down to the cold surface of the desk, as I lose myself in thoughts. I seem to be thinking a whole lot more. I hear footsteps coming near me, looking up I see Faith. Her usually cheerful look, now looked worried and scared.  
  
"What's up?" I ask.  
  
"It's Helga, I called her last night and she sounded like she was crying. Then today she has the limp, I know you noticed it too."  
  
"Yeah, can I ask a question?"  
  
"You just did, but you can ask another."  
  
"Funny, but why are you talking to me about it. I mean you don't trust me."  
  
"You're right I don't, but you are the only one that seems to actually care for Helga. No one in this whole fucking school wouldn't gave a shit if Helga were to die today." She said in a harsh whisper.  
  
"That's true, I want to help her so much. She just won't let me in, she re-built her walls."  
  
"Really? Look I know I'm being stupid but can you tell me about her past? I mean she doesn't really like to talk about it much and it might help me to know why she is like this."  
  
"Yeah sure," I reply. "You see Helga has been the school bully since preschool. She wasn't always a bully though, when she was younger she was nice. It was about the third day of school when she changed into the bully. I don't know why she snapped, maybe she couldn't take it anymore." I tell her. "Throughout our schools years she has always been mean. That changed last year, her and Arnold had started to go out. She always liked Arnold, well anyways, they went out for a while. Everything was good for the two, that was until Arnold started to pull away. Helga was slowly realizing that she and Arnold weren't meant to be. Slowly sinking into depression, soon she started to cut. A week later Helga went to go break up with Arnold, as she was walking by the park she saw the two."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"She saw Arnold and Pheobe making out on one the swings. She walked right up to Arnold and Phoebe and ended it there. She told Arnold to go fuck himself and told Phoebe that the friendship they had was over." I say as my anger starts to boil again. "That was her breaking point, that was the day she started to run. The day when she put her walls back up, and not letting anyone in. Well except you, but I bet it took some time for her to open up huh?"  
  
"You wouldn't believe it, she still doesn't tell me everything. Look I need your help, don't give up on her yet. She needs time to cope you know? It's the first time in years that you've actually talked to her."  
  
"Not really, I tried last year, but she ignored me."  
  
"Well duh," she said smiling.  
  
"Look I won't give up on her, I can't."  
  
"Good, now that we have had a heart-to-heart tell me about Stinky."  
  
"Stinky?" I asked amused.  
  
"Yes, what was he like, is it true he liked lemon pudding?" Faith asks as her cheerful face comes back.  
  
  
  
A/N: Hehe, Faith likes Stinky! Don't ask me why I thought it was creative... Well on to the review thanks!  
  
Review Thanks:  
  
Brat Child2: Cool, cool... Thanks for the review you rock! You get a pretty green stuffed doggy!  
  
Professor Rose Thorn: Yes, I've noticed that... Although I act this way in real life too... hehe Well I guess that I was trying to show how depressed she was and I don't really know. Faith is just alittle weird... just a bit... hehe Well thanks for the review you get a pretty pink stuffed bunny!  
  
stevetheloser: Ok, ok I'll take it! I shall call the cow Cheese! Anyways I would rather put up a warning about the cutting instead of getting a flame telling me that I should have... Once again thanks for the review you get a... I don't know, uhh a bag of chocolate chip cookies... unless you want a pretty blue stuffed duck... or both.  
  
Demile: Since you took the time to review all the chapters in one day I shall Dedicate this chapter to you! Good luck on reviewing every chapter of every story! Well thanks for the review you get a pretty red stuffed bear!  
  
A/N2: Well review for Lake! I'm going to see Smile Empty Soul/Moments In Grace/Life Ever After in concert in like three days! So the next chapter might take awhile to come out... can't really write depressing things when I'm so happy... Well I probably could, but it wouldnt be as good... atleast I don't think it would... Hehe, well bye! Review!  
  
Lake 


	8. Hate

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: Oh crap, this chapter is result of a stupid convo in my Acting class that pissed me off. So that is why the chapter is so angry and hateful. Well kinda...  
  
It's stange how one's feelings can change so quickly about someone. I've loved, well liked Arnold since the day we met, now I hate him. I've hated Gerald from the start, but why do I feel attracted to him now.   
  
Could it be because he stood up for me just now? Maybe he's brainwashed me, just like Arnold did. He'll probably end up hurting me, breaking down my walls only to cause pain and despair. Or maybe I should try and trust him alittle bit, maybe find out what he is up to.  
  
"I'm so confused," I whisper to myself as the five minute bell rings.  
  
Slowly, but steady the class fills in and the room is full of gossip and talks about boy bands. The teacher looks up at the class, shaking his head slightly, he let's them talk. I catch little snipplets of the conversations that are going on, but I don't care. I pull out my notebook and begin to draw.  
  
The bell rings and I pack my stuff up and leave the class in a hurry. I love my first period class, acting. I love acting, my one passion well besides writing poetry. Smiling slightly I enter the class and sit toward the back, away from everyone else. Plus no one wants the little goth chick sitting next to them, they would probably move away from me. Act like I have a deadly diease that they will catch if they come close.  
  
Sighly sadly as the bell rings, my perky teacher hops into the room.   
  
"Class, we are going to watch a movie today!" she says in her cheery voice. "Like always if you don't want to watch the movie you can sleep!"  
  
The class smiles at that comment, and most of them put their heads down. She starts the movie and turns off the light. The room is dark, almost pitch black, the little window of the portable door is covered by paper allowing not much light to get in.   
  
'Dark just like I like it,' I think to myself, frowning. 'God, I am a weird little freak.'  
  
Sighing softly I lay my head down on the desk and drift off into a light sleep. Waking up everytime I hear a slightest noice, or when I feel the people's eyes on me. Then again no one ever looks at me in this class, unless I'm performing. The bell rings and the class hurries out of the room.  
  
Walking alone down the hall isn't new to me. I've done it most of my life, just like walking alone to school, walking home alone. I used to always do everything alone, that was before Faith, but I know if I didn't have Faith than I would be alone right now. No one would spare a quick glance in my direction; not even to glare.  
  
As I walk into the class I feel the fimilar feeling someone is watching me. I give my self three guesses who and the first two don't count. Looking up I am met with the eyes of Gerald, which are always full of emotion. Either anger, concern, trust, happiness, so many that you can never tell all of them.  
  
I walk to the back of the room and sit in my usual spot, away from everyone else. The bell rings and my teacher walks into the room. He has the biggest smile on his face.  
  
"He's plotting something," I say to myself, "or he got laid last night."  
  
"Alright class, we have a buddy project!" he exclaims.  
  
Most of the class groans and I know they are silently praying not to get paired with me. Besides most of the kids in here took the class for an easy credit.   
  
"...assigned partners," I hear as I listen to him.  
  
"Great," I mumble to myself.  
  
"Alright partners are..." he starts to name off the people working together. "Helga, and Gerald."  
  
"Oh yay," I whisper.  
  
I look up at him and see a slight smile. He looks over and I force a smile out.  
  
"Why is it always me?" I say silently.  
  
The rest of my classes fly by and before I know it I'm outside with Faith. We walk over to the bus, and settle down in a seat toward the front. I know she knows why we are riding the bus now instead of blading, but she doesn't say anything and I don't either.  
  
"So what are we doing after school?" she asks in her cheery voice.  
  
"I don't know, depends." I respond staring out the window.  
  
"We can go to the mall," she says.  
  
"Yeah," I say. "We can go to the mall, then catch a movie."  
  
"Are you serious?" she asks.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Ok."  
  
The bus pulls up to our stop and we exit the bus. I head toward my house and Faith heads to hers. I'm staring at the cracks in the sidewalk as I head home, I hear footsteps behind me. Turning I see them following me. I start to walk faster, knowing what they were gonna do. I see the evil grins on their faces and I could feel the hate rolling off them. It's a little scary.  
  
They catch up to me and push me into a alley. I can see the evil glint in their eyes, and I shudder. I curse myself for becoming so scared, so worried. Arnold pushes me up against the brick wall. Pheobe comes up to me, I can see the hate in her eyes. I can taste the hate in the air, you could cut the tension with a knife.  
  
Suddently I feel a slight tinge on my left cheek. The bitch slapped me, there is no way she's gonna get away with that. I struggle to break free, but Arnolds grip is strong. I'm kicking and punching out.   
  
"We told you to stay away, but you didn't listen." Phoebe snarled.  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about? I told him to leave me alone." I said just as harshly.  
  
"Fuck you, we are gonna teach you a little lesson now. You can't mess with one of our friends. You are just a little freak," Arnold said in a cold voice.  
  
"Fuck off, I don't need you telling me shit. Just leave me alone and if your little friend wants to talk to me so be it," I say angry.  
  
Suddently a fist hits the side of my mouth. This time coming from Arnold, Phoebe standing there laughing. Both of them take turns hitting me and kicking me.  
  
"You two stop it," I hear called from behind them.  
  
"What do YOU want?" They ask.  
  
"Leave her alone, you fuckers. This is my fight not hers." the voice says.  
  
"Gerald go the fuck away, you have nothing to do with this."   
  
"Yes I fucking do, it's my fault. Now leave her the fuck alone."  
  
"Shut up and leave."  
  
"Would you like me to tell Faith about this? She is friends with Wolfgang and all the others you know? I'm sure they would be happy to help Helga out."  
  
"Fuck you," they spit at him. "Well be back later Helga, this ain't over."  
  
The two walk away glaring and muttering under their breaths.  
  
"Oh and Gerald, you're dead tomorrow. Everyone is going to hate you like they hate Helga."  
  
"Fuck you man," he yells.  
  
"Go away," I whisper.  
  
My eye's swollen and my upper lip split. My nose bleeding and I'm pretty sure my whole body is bruised.  
  
"Come on, let's get you home," he mumbles.  
  
He extends his hand out for me. Debating wether I should take it it or not. Sighing softly I take it and he gracefully pulls me up.  
  
"I'm letting you help me this once, but not anymore," I whisper. "I don't need you."  
  
"Oh I think you do, you'll see in time." I hear him mumble under his breath.  
  
"Whatever you say, whatever you say."   
  
A/N: What do you think? This chapter took me like a week to write... I don't know why, I guess because I've been super busy and crap. Oh and the concert I went to was the best! I got a pick from the bassist of Smile Empty Soul and a pic with the lead singer. The show was good, if they are coming to your town, you better go to it! Oh and it was Instruction playing not Life Ever After. I got the bassist's pick from Instruction too. The cd (Instruction) is out in like May or April I want all rock fans to get it. It's a good group and awesome songs... Well enough of my mindless rambling on to the review thanks!  
  
Review Thanks:  
  
stevetheloser: I like pocket lint! It's fun to flick at people! Toasty toes! hehe, Well thanks for the review you can have some crackers...  
  
blah: I shall continue! Heh, people would feel bad if Helga did that... Well thanks for the review you get some potato chips!   
  
Professor Rose Thorn: Hehe so much stuff I gave you! You are going to be recieving more though! Thanks for the review you get some brownies... oh yes more chocolate! Everyone loves chocolate...  
  
Gwynn: Yep yep, flinging mud at them. I like them and all, but it's always the typical Arnold, Phoebe, Helga friendship triangle. Nothing wrong with that, I mean I love it, but I like to think outside the box and make people evil! Oh yes, really evil! Well yeah thanks for the review you get a birthday cake, made of chocolate! 


	9. Thunderstorms

Unusual Feelings...  
  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp:: Not a good summaries but I can't write summary worth cheese cows!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it...   
  
A/N: Sorry sorry sorry! I didn't mean to make you guys wait this long, but I have been super busy... And I might not be able to update til late May cause there is only three weeks left in school and I am failing english. If I don't pass this semster I'm back in 9th and then I'm screwed so I've been working really hard to get my grade up... And I've also felt like crap lately... So once again I'm sorry! Gerald's POV in this chapter.   
  
We walk slowly towards her house, her thin frame leaning on me. Her nose, and lip stopped bleeding awhile ago. Grinning inwardly I look over at her, her eyes are staring at the ground. Refusing to look up at me or darkening sky. Dark gray clouds cover the sky again, and thunder can be heard in the distance.  
  
"Weird weather we've had this week huh?" I ask breaking the silence.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Can we go to the park for awhile, I really don't want to go home right now," she says in a small timid voice.  
  
It makes me wonder where the confident, bully went. The one that wasn't afraid to speak her mind, or to stand up for herself. I wonder what happened to the Helga that never let people push her around. I feel a light tapping on my shoulder as I'm pulled from my thoughts. Helga is looking over, concern shining in her eyes; atleast I think it is concern.  
  
"You alright?" she asks.  
  
"What? Oh yeah, just lost in a thought," I reply smiling.  
  
We arrived at the park and walk down the path. I lead her over to the benches so we can sit. I hear a small sigh, as I turn toward her. I see tears in her eyes, but she looks down quickly.  
  
"It's ok to talk about things," I tell her, smiling.  
  
"What's the point? You'll probably end up like everyone else," she replies bitterly.  
  
"Why do you think that?" I ask trying to keep the anger out of my voice.  
  
"It's the way everyone is. They get close to someone, and that person decides they had enough and leaves. And the person that is left is depressed, lonely, living life in despair and hate," she replies.  
  
"I don't understand," I say softly.  
  
"What I am saying is you're gonna get sick of me evenually and leave me here," she says anger building in her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry," I mumble. "But you don't know that I'm gonna get sick of you. I'm not like other people."  
  
"Look, I want to trust you, but I can't. I can't set myself up for pain again. I've already been through to much of it."  
  
"Why can't you just follow your heart? You have to look at everything in such a negative way," I say, anger seeping into my voice.  
  
"You wanna know why? Well picture this, you grow up in a family that could care less about you. You go through the day holding an image up, that you are cold, you are heartless. You had a crush since you were in pre-school. You be mean to the person you truly care about. Finally after years of torment they admit to liking you. You drop the act and become caring. People look at you weird, because you aren't cold. You make friends, only to have them ditch you because of the one person. Look you don't know my pain, you don't know what's it's like to be me. You don't know," she says breaking down.   
  
She curls up into a little ball and weeps. The rain starts to fall hard and thunder becomes louder. I look over at her and she is soaked, I tap her shoulder and she looks up.  
  
"Come on, we have to get out of the rain," I tell her.  
  
Nodding slightly she gets up and leans on me for support. We walk slowly out of the park.  
  
"Your house is to far away," I tell her.  
  
"I'll go alone then."  
  
"No, we are going to my house, I'll get my mom to give you a ride home," I say.  
  
"No, I'll walk."  
  
"I won't let you."  
  
"Fuck off, I can take care of myself," she says forcing her way out of my grasp.  
  
"Helga! Don't do this, just let me help you. Please," I beg.  
  
"NO I don't need you! I don't need anyone," she says running.  
  
"Helga!" I exclaim running after her.  
  
"Just leave me alone," she yells running and slipping.  
  
"Helga!" I exclaim running over to her and helping her up.  
  
"Look I don't need you," she says, crying.  
  
"Yes you do, now come on."  
  
"NO! I'm not moving."  
  
"I'll carry you to my house," I threaten.  
  
"No you won't," she says.  
  
"Wanna bet?"  
  
"You--" she starts as I gracefully pick her up. "Put me down!"  
  
"No, unless you promise to let me take you to my house."  
  
"No," she says.  
  
"Well looks like I'm carrying you," I reply walking toward my house.  
  
The rain is coming down harder and the thunder is getting louder. Lightening only a few miles away from us. I adjust Helga in my arms, and I notice that her breathing has become deeper. Looking down, I see that she has fallen asleep, slightly shivering. Warping my arms tighter around her I finally make it to my house. The lights are shining brightly through the windows and I see my mom and dad on the chair watching tv.  
  
Grinning slightly I open the door to the house, warm air hits me. My parents rush to the door, anger in their eyes that soften as they see Helga. I give them a look that says I'll explain in the living room.  
  
"Let me go change first," I whisper to them, carrying Helga up to my room. "Helga, wake up."  
  
She stirs slightly, but she does wake up. I try again, this time successful. Her eyes flutter open as she looks around my room. After about a minute we both notice that I am still holding her. Setting her down on the floor she stumbles a bit, but I catch her.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry I forced you over here, but there was no way we could have-" I was cut off by thunder and the power going out.  
  
I hear a small whimper come out of Helga. Grabbing her hand I put her over to me. She is tense at first but soon relaxes into the hug.  
  
"Let me get my flashlight," I whisper to her.  
  
"No, don't leave me here," she says, sounding like a child.  
  
"Ok, but we need some light," I say.  
  
She reaches over to my desk and grabs the candle that is on it. Pulling a lighter out of her pocket she lights it.  
  
"There," she says.  
  
"Ok why do you have a lighter?"  
  
"Oh, uhh... no comment," she mumbles.  
  
"Ok, look we need to change into something dry before we both get sick," I say.  
  
Walking over to my dresser I pull out some sweat pants and a sweat shirt for her to wear. While I grab out the same for me.  
  
"You can change in the bathroom," I tell her.  
  
"Thanks," she mumbles looking at me.  
  
"Oh right," I say walking her to it.  
  
I give her the candle and head back toward my room. After moments of looking for my flashlight I finally find it under my bed. Turning it on, I change into my new clothes and head out. Helga is waiting in the hall, nervously.  
  
"Do they fit all right?" I ask.  
  
"Good enough, uhh... what do I do with these?" she asks.  
  
"I'll throw them in the dryer. You know those sweats look good on you, keep them."  
  
"I couldn't," she whispers.  
  
"Keep them, plus they smell like me so you know you want them."  
  
"Not really," she replies, smiling slightly.  
  
"Ha, there is the smile!" I exclaim.  
  
"You're weird," she says.  
  
"And proud of it," I reply as we head downstairs into the living room.  
  
My parents are waiting down there, candles are lit. Letting of a beautiful natural glow. Helga puts the candle she is hold on the table along side two other ones. I walk over to one of the chairs and plop down, she is still standing.  
  
"Sit," I say to her.  
  
"Ok," she replies, timidly.  
  
My parents look over at me, with a look saying 'You better explain or else.' Sighing deeply, I tell them what happened after school, Helga adding in alittle.  
  
"Helga, you're parents must be worried," my mom says to her.  
  
"Don't worry my parents don't care," she says almost bitterly.  
  
"Why don't you give them a call anyways," my dad tells her handing her the cell phone.  
  
"Yes sir," she says taking it.  
  
She dails the number and sits there as the phone rings.   
  
"Hello?" she says into the mouth piece.  
  
"Olga?" I hear her dad say.  
  
"It's Helga dad," she replies.  
  
"Whatever, what do you want?"  
  
"I'm just calling to tell you that I am safe," she says.  
  
"Yeah whatever, anything else? You're sister is playing the piano," I hear.  
  
"Yeah, bye Bob," she says hanging up the phone.  
  
My parents look at each other and excuse themselves. My dad turns arounds and tells Helga that she is going to have to stay the night tonight. She nods at him and looks back at the ground.  
  
"Night son, night Helga," they say to us as they ascend the stairs.  
  
"Night," we both say.  
  
"Well you know since you are stuck here we can get to work on that poetry assignment," I say to her.  
  
"Yeah alright," she replies.  
  
A/N: Ok what did you think of the chapter? I thought it was ok... But yeah review!  
  
Review Thanks:  
  
stevetheloser: ::Grins widely:: Finally I have killed someone! ::evil laugh:: hehe ::stops laugh and looks around at all the weird stares:: What? I didn't do it... hehe Well yeah... Thanks for the review... really amusing... hehe You get to do my vocab and all my other english homework!!! yay! naw just playing you can have a pig! hehe they go ribbit! *actually I don't know what they do, but like yeah!*  
  
RonLuver2005: Here's an update... it wasn't really that fast, but hey I updated! hehe ::Grin:: You can have a chicken! They go MOO! hehe   
  
~*~: FUSE ROCKS!!!! Really it's own by the Home Shopping Channel Network? That is SO cool! ::grin:: Fuse is awesome, do you watch fuse in the mornings? At around 8ish? hehe love the infomercials... so cool! hehe Thanks for the review, this chapter is dedicated to you because you like fuse too! You get a bunny, I don't know what they do!  
  
Gwynn: I wasn't gonna update this till school ended, but I decided that I was gonna update cuz of your review! hehe Well actually cuz of all the reviews but your review was the one that was like 'You have to update' so yea I updated! hehe Well thanks for the review you get a goose... don't know what they do! lol  
  
  
  
A/N: Ok review for me? I'll love you forever! I'ma go finsh my english homework now... since I really need to pass... ::sigh:: bye all! ::Grin:: 


	10. It Never Lasts Long

**_Unusual Feelings_  
Summary: Yet another Depressed!Helga story... but this one is different... her savior is none other than Gerald! ::gasp::Will he be able to break her walls down, or are they already indestructible?Corny summary... oh well hehe**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... **

**A/N: Oh yeah! I passed english with a C! ::dances:: Now all I have to worry about it passing biology. The test she gave us was so fucking hard and we got to use a study guide on it. Now what does that tell you? hehe well my school blows and I'm happy it's summer! Oh yeah! Well on to the story! Helga's POV!  
**

**Newest A/N: Ok so I know it's been like a long ass time since I updated and I can't really say sorry enough. Many things have happened last year... plus I suffered major writer's block... I mean I was like 'Ok so what to write for UF?' and my brain was like 'I don't know, ask again later.' So I go back to my brain and am like 'Do you know yet?' and my brain was like 'I don't know, ask again later.' Hehe and it continues... So here's the update hopefully you like! Helga's POV! (Oh and I did pass the biology test... think I got a B on it XD)**

_"Dream..."_

* * *

Warmth. Comfort. My eyes slowly drifting shut as Gerald leaves to get paper for the project. I hear footsteps coming toward me, but sleep is calling; I have to answer it. I hear him sigh slightly, he sounds disappointed. I try to open my eyes, tell him I'm still awake, but I can't. 

I few even more warmth and comfort as he wraps a blanket around me. It smells like him; I inhale his scent and fall deeper into my head. I have no dreams and the next thing I know, it's morning.

I slowly open my eyes and hope last night was just a dream. His scent still lingers on the blanket. His body is resting on the floor next to the couch.

"Nope, not a dream," I mumble.

I cautiously move into a sitting position and wrap the blanket tighter around me. Sitting there I look into the face of the guy I'm slowly starting to trust. The light surrounds his face making him even more beautiful then usual. His darkly tanned skin has a soft glow and his afro is just as perfect kept as it always was. His eyes are brown and so understanding--wait his eyes? It takes me a moment to realize he's awake and I've been caught staring at him. My face heats up and I turn away trying to hide my red face.

"Sleep well?" he whispers, voice still sounding tired.  
"Yeah, one of the best nights," I reply, "Did I just say that last part out loud?"  
He nods and smiles as I slap myself mentally.  
"Why don't you go back to sleep? You look tired still," I say to him, almost motherly.  
"I'm not--" he yawns mid-sentence then smiles sheepishly, "Ok maybe just a little bit."

I feel the corner of my lips curve upwards. He looks at me, beaming.

"Go back to sleep, you're tired," I tell him, trying to hide the smile that wants to appear on my face.  
"If you promise you'll be here when I wake back up," he replies, eyes starting to shut.  
"I don't know, maybe," I return.

I want to stay, but what if he got tired of me? What if he decides I'm not good enough? I can't trust him, no matter how much I want to. I can't let him in the walls I built, I can't make myself weak again. I repeat that over and over in my head. Just tell him to go fuck himself and be over with it.

"I'm not sleeping unless you promise," he replies yawning.

Tell him to fuck himself Helga, replays over and over in my mind, but my heart has a different response. It over-rides my brain as I hear myself saying,

"Ok I promise."  
"Really?"  
"Yes," I reply, sincerely.  
"Good," he says before falling into a deep sleep.  
"He won't notice if I-- no you promised," I mumble. "I can't trust him."

Sighing defeatly, I lay back down on the couch and pull the blanket even tighter around me. I smell him again; I can't help but feel all giddy, can't help but feel like a little school girl. Can't help but feel like I did when I found out Arnold liked me. Silent tears try to push their way out of my eyes as I think about Arnold and I together. Pushing it to the back of my mind I inhale the scent of Gerald and drift off into a deep sleep.

* * *

_"Helga?" a voice calls to me.  
"Wha-what?" I ask it.  
"Follow me," it replies.  
"Why?"  
"Why not?"  
"Because."  
"Trust me."  
"I can't."  
"Why not?"  
"I just can't."_ I awake with a start

* * *

Looking around the house I notice Gerald isn't laying down by the couch. I notice that no one is in the living room at all. 

"Abandoned again," I whisper.  
"Helga?" I hear someone call.

I look up and Gerald comes walking in with an apron tied around his waist. He has oven mitts on his hands and he's grinning.

"Hi," I mumble as he walks in the room.  
"How'd you sleep?" he asks.  
"You asked me that earlier," I state.  
"I did?"  
"Nevermind, I slept well."  
"Good, hungry."  
"No," I tell him, and at the moment my stomach betrays me and grumbles.  
"You lie," he says, amused.  
"Ok, maybe alittle," I agree as the corner of my lips curve upwards slightly. "Where is everyone?"  
"Work and friend's house," he smiles.  
"Oh," is the only thing that comes out of my mouth.

He tells me to stay put while he finishes breakfast. I lay and enjoy the comfort I get from his house. The atmosphere is so different, it's really refreshing. It feels as if love is embracing me, I allow myself to smile, a real smile. For the first time in my life I feel at complete ease, complete comfort, but I know it won't last long. It never does.

* * *

**A/N: Ok this chapter is really really short, I'm sorry... I thought that this would be a good place to leave off... As you see Helga is starting to find comfort with Gerald, but will she allow herself to completely trust him? Ok question... Should it really take this long for Helga to trust him? See if I had it my way she wouldn't trust him til about the 12th or so chapter... But I need to know if what I'm writing makes sense or should I speed some things up? Help me out? I'll give you a cookie! XD ok Review thanks time...**

**Review Thanks:**

**Professor Rose Thorn: Sorry it took me so long to get this out... I do hope you like this chapter. I'm happy they are getting closer too. Well hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks for the review.**

**stevetheloser: You make me laugh! XD Ok so I didn't fail english and it's been a long time since I updated (sorry)... is the review box party still going on? Hehe I'll bring cheesecake! Although I can't really cook... Hmmm oh well... there's always crackers, but you might wanna stay away from them... considering you got killed by them last time... Hehe thanks for the review**

**Demile: I know they changed a lot... It helps with the plot though... Anywho glad to hear you are enjoying it. Hope this chapter was awesome... Sorry it took so long. Thanks for the review!**

**Alice Shade: Here is more of the story... sorry took me so long to update... Do hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for the review!**

**Gwynn: I love the rain! It's like so beautiful and most people hate it. I don't know why, but it gives off the whole 'I love you' vibe and stuff... Hehe I might have them share their first kiss in the rain... XD or maybe not... hehe sorry it took so long... thanks for the review**

**DigitHZ: Sorry it took so long... I do hope you enjoyed this chapter... Thanks for the review!**

**A/N: Ok so you know what to do! Reviews are welcome, death threats are welcome, flames will be laughed at, and presents will make me happy... Happy late holidays! XD All reviewers will recieve a Ring pop... you know those candy thingies? Hehehe ok and if you don't want that... well then you get a pie! XD ok don't forget to review!**

**Lake**


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